Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
