Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
