have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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