so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
