lets start a swedish sibling band together
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
