i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
