So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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