WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have already put on my inside pants.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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