Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
