The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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