Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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