Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
