I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
