my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
