Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish i was in the wii world.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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