my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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