the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
