One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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