I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
