there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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