The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my poor anus
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
