i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
