'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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