i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
