chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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