I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Small penises have feelings too.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
