I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you had me at cake vodka
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
