i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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