every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
