You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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