Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
