apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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