she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
