U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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