last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it because I queefed?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
True strength comes from lack of pants
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
