Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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