I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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