it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
