i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Vodka?
Forever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
