Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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