he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
