that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
