did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
