That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She's the barista slut.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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