just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
