grandma shit on top of the toilet
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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