Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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