Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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