she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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