do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize